myfriendsdad

F7: Freedom: The Ultimate Goal of an Intentional Life

Sun, 19 Apr 2026 14:07:53 GMT

Freedom is a Result, Not an Accident

We have spent the last several weeks walking through the first six Fs: Faith, Fellowship, Fitness, Fulfillment, Finance, and Function. If you’ve been following along, you’ve noticed a pattern: each pillar requires discipline, strategy, and intentionality.

Freedom is the 7th pillar because it is the culmination of the other six. It is the finish line. You cannot have true freedom if you are a slave to your debt (Finance), if you are too sluggish to enjoy your day (Fitness), or if your identity is entirely wrapped up in a job you didn't choose (Function). Freedom is what happens when the other areas of your life are in alignment.

Social Freedom: Managing the Energy Vampires

One aspect of freedom we rarely discuss is freedom from people who suck the life out of you. We all know them: the "energy vampires" who only call when they need something or those who seem to thrive on constant drama.

True freedom means being fully aware of these dynamics and choosing to engage on your own terms. It is about an equation of balanced value; weighing what they bring to your life against what you bring to theirs.

One of the most liberating things you can do is realize that you do not have to answer every call. It is okay to give those dramatic situations some air and see if you notice a difference in your own stress levels. You aren't being rude; you are being a good steward of your time. When you operate from a place of freedom, you determine the ground rules and the length of the conversation.

Freedom From vs. Freedom To

Most people focus on "freedom from..." which can be freedom from a boss or freedom from a schedule. Those are fine goals, but the more powerful version is "freedom to...."

Think back to the trip I took through St. Louis, Chicago, and Cleveland. I wasn't doing that because I had nothing better to do. I was able to get behind the wheel because I have spent years being intentional with my finances and my career strategy. That gave me the freedom to be present for the people who matter most. At the center of that trip, and my life, is my wife. Because my other pillars were in order, I had the freedom to make her and those relationships the priority.

The Comfort of Making Good Choices

Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want. That is just chaos. True freedom is the comfort of making ideal choices without encumbrances forcing you to make less-than-ideal sacrifices.

When your pillars are strong, you aren't forced into corners. You don't have to take a job that compromises your integrity because your Finance pillar is solid. You don't have to miss out on an important life event or a weekend away because your Function pillar is well-managed. You have the ability to be fully present for your Faith, your Fellowship, and your Fulfillment because you aren't a slave to the survival mode that comes from neglecting the basics.

The Journey Doesn’t End Here

The 7 Fs are not a checklist you complete once and throw away. They are a framework for a lifetime of intentional living. If you’ve followed this series from Faith all the way through to Freedom , you now have the blueprint. The question is: What will you do with the driver’s seat now that you’ve claimed it?

I want to hear from you. Which of the 7 Fs resonated with you the most? Which one are you going to tackle first this week?

If you want to see more behind the scenes of these pillars in action and catch some shorter, daily dad advice on how to navigate life and career in 2026, Follow [ @MyFriendsDad ] on Instagram I’ll be sharing videos, answering questions, and keeping the conversation going as we all strive to move away from autopilot and toward a life of true freedom.

F6: Function: Why Your Career Path is Now Portable

Sun, 29 Mar 2026 20:05:29 GMT

The End of the Gold Watch Era

We have to acknowledge how much the world has changed since the Baby Boomer generation entered the workforce. Back then, the "unspoken contract" between employer and employee was simple: you give us forty years of loyalty, and we will give you a pension, a gold watch, and a secure retirement.

Think of the legacy of companies like Xerox, IBM, Sears, or Westinghouse. These were more than just employers; they were institutions. They had robust internal infrastructure designed to take a "green" hire and mold them over decades. They offered good pensions and stock plans that made it worthwhile to develop, grow, and eventually retire in-house.

That world essentially no longer exists. Today, careers are portable. 401(k) plans are not tied to one building; they move with you or roll over when your employment changes. While this gives you more freedom, it also means the "paternal" nature of companies has faded. Most organizations today are optimized for quarterly results, not thirty-year career arcs. If you want to grow, you have to be the one watering the seeds. If you aren't intentional about your career path, you are effectively leaving your future in the hands of an HR department that might not even exist in five years.

The Myth of the Early Calling

As I mentioned in a previous post, What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? , some people seem to know their career path from the time they can walk. They know exactly what they want to do and where they need to go to school to learn the trade.

However, I would argue that most people do not know. Most of us focus on one of many interests and head to a university "undecided," embarking on a very expensive journey just to find out what we want to do. If that was your experience, do not worry, you are in the majority. But while "undecided" is a fine place to start, it is a dangerous place to stay.

Specialist First, Generalist Second

One of the most common mistakes I see young professionals make is trying to be a "leader" before they have mastered a "craft." There is a strong desire to jump into management before understanding the actual mechanics of the work.

Years ago, I received a piece of advice that changed my trajectory: Make sure you are very good at a specialty before you try to become a generalist. That specialty becomes your anchor. It gives you the solid footing you need to branch out later.

I chose Engineering and Quality. By mastering those specific "design spec" skills, I earned the credibility to eventually lead Operations and Supply Chain. Why? Because in the world of manufacturing and product development, everything eventually comes back to hitting the design specifications. If you cannot get the product right, the most efficient supply chain in the world will not save you. By becoming an expert in the "how" and "why" of the product first, I gained a reputation for reliability. That specialty made me portable. No matter where I went, that foundational knowledge was a high-value asset that spoke a universal language.

The Trap of Organic Growth

I have seen many people approach their careers by finding a foothold in a company and simply growing organically. They work hard, stay late, and hope that one day, a senior leader will notice and tap them on the shoulder for the next big promotion.

Unfortunately, many companies today do not have the infrastructure to develop talent or prepare you for that next level. They are focused on filling today’s gap, not preparing you for tomorrow’s opportunity. This leaves you with two choices:

Sit in the same role and hope you can self-develop enough to be ready when something opens up internally.
Find a promotional opportunity at another company that values your growth and offers a path for development.

If you sit in the same role waiting for an internal opening, you are essentially gambling with your most valuable asset: your time. Intentionality means realizing that if your current company does not have a development plan for you, you must create your own.

You are the CEO of Your Career

In 2026, the driver’s seat is the only place to be. Your Function is the engine that funds your Finance , supports your Fellowship , and provides the resources for your Freedom .

Your options and career will change and evolve over time, so make sure to remain open and consider the future as you map your career path. Do not wait for a career to be presented to you; nobody is going to take care of you or have more care for your career than you do.

To move from accidental growth to intentional mastery, I suggest two specific actions:

Seek an Independent Perspective: Work with an independent coach or an internal company resource, but ensure your path aligns with the reality of the external world. An internal resource may have the company's best interest at heart; an independent mentor has yours.

Build a 5-Year Roadmap: Identify the next three specific skills you need to master. Do not wait for your boss to tell you what they are. Research the roles you want and look at the "design specs" for those positions.

Stop being a passenger in your professional life. Take the wheel, master your craft, and drive with intention.

What is the "Specialty" you are mastering right now? Whether you are in an office or on a job site, I want to hear how you are taking the driver's seat in your career. Leave a comment below or head over to my Instagram @myfriendsdad to join the conversation. Let's make 2026 the year you stop waiting for a "tap on the shoulder" and start building your own path.

F5: Finance: Why Every Dollar is a Message to Your Future Self

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 14:57:41 GMT

The Simple Math of Freedom

A mentor once told me in my mid-20s that everyone comes to work for their own reasons. For me, I enjoy being able to buy my wife nice things and I want to be able to retire comfortably someday. Whatever your motivation is, the math of finance remains the same. It is a straightforward formula:

Income - Expenses = Savings

The goal is to keep that last number as large as possible. When you save money, you are putting it into your own future. On the other hand, when you borrow money, you are taking it from your own future. Being intentional about your finances means deciding that your future self is worth more than the temporary thrill of a purchase today.

Don't Sell the Skin Before the Bear is Caught

There is an old American saying that tells us not to count our chickens before they hatch. My friends in Montreal have a similar version: do not sell the skin before you have caught the bear. In modern terms, this means you should not live beyond your means based on a bonus or a tax refund that has not arrived yet.

If you feel the need to buy something because a big check is coming, trust me that someone will still be selling that same item after the money is actually in your bank account. Avoid the trap of spending money you do not yet possess.

The Difference Between Survival and Habit

I want to be very clear that I have experienced the season of life where there was barely enough money to survive. I have been in the position where, even after trimming every extra expense and eating the bare minimum, the numbers still did not add up. If you are in that spot, it is not a choice, and it is incredibly difficult.

However, I also know many people who are in the habit of being broke. They spend every last penny until the next check comes in, but upon closer examination, they are spending on frivolous things. Endless streaming services, gaming subscriptions, and extra cable packages add up quickly. Often, they are also paying too much for insurance or cell phone plans because the most convenient option is rarely the most economic. The more you can save now by cutting out the convenience trap, the more comfortable you will be later.

The $50 Cup of Coffee

In our modern world, we spend money through apps and cards, which makes it easy to lose the fundamental understanding of where our money goes. This is why a written budget is essential. You need to see exactly where the money is coming from and where it is leaking out.

I recently took a road trip from Denver to Atlanta and back. It was a quick trip, and I made sure to save every single receipt. When I got home and spent five minutes adding them up, I was shocked to find I had spent $50 just on gas station coffee. I can buy a full bag of high quality Starbucks coffee for about $10. By not being intentional, I spent five times more than I needed to for a product that was not even as good. Without the intentional review, I never would have noticed that leak.

Take a look at your own receipts this week. You might be surprised at what your money is trying to tell you.

F4: Fulfillment: Why You Need a Passion Outside of Your Paycheck

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 16:43:51 GMT

The Lesson of the Middle-Aged Rockstar

I remember when my dad was in his 40s. While most people his age were focusing solely on their careers, he decided to pick up a guitar. He said that work was fine, but he needed a creative outlet. He did not just learn a few chords; he formed a band that ended up touring regionally. After more than 35 years with the same company he retired, and still plays the guitar almost every day. Seeing him find that level of passion and joy outside of his daily responsibilities taught me a vital lesson. It showed me that we are meant to be more than just our job titles.

My Own Path to Fulfillment

Coming off my year on autopilot, I realized I needed to find my own version of that guitar. For me, that meant starting weight training and creating this website. Sharing my experiences on this blog and social media has become a source of fulfillment that is entirely separate from my professional function. It is something I do because it challenges me and gives me a sense of accomplishment that a paycheck cannot provide. It recharges my battery in a way that passive rest never could.

Find Your Own Rim-to-Rim

Fulfillment looks different for everyone. I know people who have pushed their physical limits by running the rim to rim at the Grand Canyon. I know others who have found peace in the precision of baking or the discipline of competitive target shooting. The common thread is that these activities are separate from work. They are not chores, and they are not done for the sake of a boss or a client. They are done for the soul.

The Necessity of a Secondary Identity

If your entire identity is wrapped up in your job, you are in a vulnerable position. When work goes poorly, your whole world feels like it is collapsing. Fulfillment provides you with a secondary identity. It allows you to be a guitar player, an athlete, a baker, or a writer. This variety makes you a more resilient and interesting person. It gives you a reason to look forward to the hours outside of the office.

Making the Time in 2026

As you look at your schedule for the rest of this year, I want you to find your guitar. What is the one thing you can do that makes you feel most alive? It does not have to be a grand gesture like a regional tour or a canyon run, but it must be intentional. Make space for the things that fulfill you, and you will find that you have more energy for your family, your faith, and your career.

I invite you to share what brings you fulfillment. What is the one thing you do that makes you feel most like yourself? Follow me on Instagram @myfriendsdad to join the discussion on how we can all find more joy in the journey.

F3: Why Fitness is the Engine of Your Life and Career

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 17:46:44 GMT

The High Cost of a Body on Autopilot

During my year of living on autopilot, my physical health was one of the areas that drifted the most. It is a common trap regardless of your job title. You convince yourself that you are being productive because you are spending more hours at your desk or in the field, but a body that is neglected will eventually push back.

I fell into a cycle that I see many young professionals struggle with. I started skipping the gym to squeeze more time into the office. My energy levels began to drop and my focus was not as sharp as it used to be. Because I was tired and lacked the stimulation that comes from exercise, my body began to sense a need for energy. Instead of realizing I needed a workout and better sleep, I began snacking more. I was doing the exact things I should have been avoiding. My body wanted movement and rest, but I was giving it more calories and more stress.

Fitness for the Office and the Field

Whether you are a junior accountant, an HVAC technician, or a business manager, your career is an endurance sport. Fitness is about stewardship of the vehicle that allows you to fulfill your purpose. If you are treating your body as secondary to your work, you are neglecting your primary tool.

Can you get through a stressful shift without a mental fog?

Do you have the stamina to engage with your family at the end of a long day?

When you view fitness through this lens, it stops being a chore and starts being a strategic investment in your longevity.

The Power of Your Fitness Support Circle

Jesus sent the apostles out in pairs for support and accountability, and I find that fitness works the same way. Having a partner makes it much harder to slip back into the habit of trading your health for an extra hour of work. This support can take many forms. It might be a personal trainer or a gym buddy who physically shows up with you.

However, it can also be the people you simply talk about fitness with. This could be a spouse who supports your schedule, a friend who checks in on your progress, or even a coworker you exchange healthy habits with during a break. Having a circle of people who know your goals and encourage your consistency is vital. Whether they are lifting weights with you or just asking how your morning run went, that dialogue keeps your intentions front and center.

Building a Foundation for the Long Haul

As you navigate the transition into adulthood or take on new responsibilities, do not make the mistake of thinking you can address your health later. Start now. Your ability to work, to provide, and to enjoy your freedom is directly tied to your physical well being.

I encourage you to pick one intentional act of fitness today. It does not have to be a marathon. It just has to be a start. For more tips on balancing health with the demands of your career, follow me on Instagram @myfriendsdad .

F2: The Cross-Country Loop: Why Family and Fellowship is a Priority in 2026

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 19:42:02 GMT

The Anchor of My Intentional Life

If I learned anything from my year on autopilot, it was that relationships do not maintain themselves. We often tell ourselves that we are too busy or that a text message is enough to keep a connection alive. Last week, I decided to test that theory by getting behind the wheel. I took a road trip from Denver to St. Louis, then up to Chicago, over to Cleveland, and finally back home to Denver.

At the very center of this trip, and my life in general, is my wife. She is my top priority. Whether we are navigating a cross country drive or the complexities of a forty year career, she is the person I check in with first. I recognize that not everyone has a spouse, but everyone needs an anchor. Whether your primary person is a partner, a best friend, or a close family member, that relationship requires the most intentionality. It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.

The Support Network You Cannot Build on LinkedIn

The goal of this road trip was simple: see my family. It had been far too long since I had been able to sit across the table from them. I was only in each city for a couple of days. I had to work around school schedules and the normal chaos of daily life. It was not a grand, weeks long vacation, and it did not require a massive budget. It simply required the decision to show up for the people who share my history.

We talk a lot about networking in the professional world. We collect contacts and business cards, but those are rarely the people who show up for you when life gets difficult. True fellowship starts with family. During this trip, I was reminded that family and long term friends are the stakeholders who truly matter.

Everyone is navigating their own unique set of life events and perspectives. My family members are in different stages of life than I am, and listening to their stories gave me a fresh outlook. When we stay connected, we create a safety net. You become the person they can lean on, and in return, you have a group of people who can offer you a different point of view when you are facing a tough decision at work or in your personal life.

Low Cost and High Return

One of the biggest misconceptions about being intentional with family is that it has to be a major production. This trip proved the opposite. The value was found in the small moments between school events and evening meals. It was in the conversations that happen only when you are physically in the room together.

If you are navigating your first job or a new leadership role, you might feel like you have to sacrifice these family connections to get ahead. I am telling you from forty years of experience that the opposite is true. Your ability to perform well at work is often tied to the stability and love you find in your family and friends.

Making the Connection Today

As you look at your own schedule for 2026, ask yourself who in your family has been on the back burner. You do not necessarily need to drive 2,800 miles, but you do need to be intentional. Every minute counts. Family and Fellowship is the first of my 7 Fs because it is the foundation. Without a strong support network, the other areas of life become much harder to manage.

For more stories on leadership and life strategy, check out my Instagram @myfriendsdad . I would love to hear how you are making time for your inner circle this year.

F1: The First Pillar: Why Faith Requires More Than Just Good Intentions

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 22:37:17 GMT

The Trap of the Solo Journey

When I sat down to organize the 7 Fs for this year, there was no question about which one came first. Faith is the starting point. However, I want to be honest about a mistake I have made in the past. There were times in my life where I thought I could remain faithful on my own without the community of the church. I found out the hard way that it simply does not work.

You need a community. You need the support of others who are striving for the same goals, and you need to consistently hear and learn the Word. For 2026, my personal commitment is to remain an engaged participant in Mass. It is not enough to just show up and sit in a pew. Intentional living means being present, listening, and actively participating in the life of the parish.

The Need for Spiritual Mentorship

In the professional world, we talk constantly about the importance of finding a mentor. We look for someone who has walked the path before us to provide guidance and accountability. Why should our spiritual lives be any different? I highly suggest that people find a religious mentor in the same way they would seek a mentor in business.

There is a biblical precedent for this kind of support. Jesus sent his apostles out in pairs. This was not an accidental choice. Drawing on the tradition that required two witnesses for confirmation, he provided them with support, accountability, and credibility. It gave them companionship and a model for how to share the work of ministry. We are not meant to carry the weight of our faith alone.

Finding Your Spiritual Partner

Just as the apostles had their pairs, we need partners in our spiritual journey. My wife is my partner in spirituality. Having her by my side provides a level of accountability and shared purpose that makes my faith stronger. Whether your partner is a spouse, a close friend, or a dedicated mentor, having someone to walk with ensures that you do not drift when things get difficult.

Many people substitute God with false idols like money, power, or career success. They may even tell you to avoid church because of the flaws they see in other people. But comparing imperfect humans to the Creator is a fallacy. We do not go to church because we are perfect. We go to church because we are not. We go to learn, to improve, and to strengthen ourselves alongside our partners and our community.

Choosing Your North Star

If you are navigating the early years of your career or taking on the weight of leadership, you need a North Star that does not move. For me, that is my Catholic faith. It is the foundation for every other pillar of my life.

I encourage you to look closely at what you are prioritizing today. Find a community that teaches the truth, seek out a spiritual mentor, and find a partner to walk with you. It will change the way you handle every other area of your life. For thoughts on leadership and living with purpose, follow me on Instagram @myfriendsdad .

Returning to Intentionality in the New Year

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 19:29:00 GMT

The Autopilot Trap and the Cost of Silence

It has been about a year since I last sat down to share thoughts on this platform. In that time, life did what it often does when we are not looking. It moved fast. I spent the last twelve months with my head down, completely absorbed by the demands of work and the daily grind of professional leadership. While the work was productive, I realized recently that I had allowed the rest of my life to run on autopilot.

When we focus exclusively on one area, the other pillars of our existence begin to drift. We stop being the architects of our lives and start becoming passengers, bystanders even. I created this site to be a resource for young professionals and emerging leaders, yet I realized I was failing to practice the very intentionality I aim to teach. This year is about changing that trajectory for myself and for this community.

A New Framework For a Balanced Life

As we enter 2026, I am not interested in fleeting resolutions or vague goals. I am interested in a strategy for living. To get back on track, I have developed a framework I call the 7 Fs. These are the seven areas where I am committing to be fully present and highly intentional.

Throughout the coming weeks, we will explore each of these in depth. We will discuss Family and Fellowship, Faith, Fitness, and Fulfillment. We will also dive deep into two areas that are vital for any professional: Function and Freedom.

Defining Function and Freedom in the Modern World

Function is more than just having a job. It is about your craft, your career roadmap, and choosing a path with a specific result in mind. It is the difference between working for a paycheck and working with a purpose.

Freedom is the ultimate goal of a well managed life. To me, freedom means more than just financial independence. It includes the emotional liberty that comes from forgiveness and the discipline to partition nonsense from your life. It means eliminating toxic relationships and wasteful habits that take more than they give.

What to Expect Next from My Friend’s Dad

The goal of this site remains the same as the day I named it. I want to provide the kind of environment I had growing up, where you could seek advice from a friend’s parent when you did not have the answers yourself. I am here to share forty years of experience so that you can navigate office politics, personal finance, and tough life decisions with more confidence.

I invite you to follow along as I break down each of these pillars. I will be sharing stories from my career, practical strategies for growth, and honest reflections on the challenges of adulting. You can also find shorter daily insights and community discussions over on my Instagram handle, @myfriendsdad .

The autopilot is officially turned off. It is time to start driving.

Bringing the Internet to Your Outbuilding: A Comparative Analysis of Solutions

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 23:22:28 GMT

Running a Network Connection to Our Outbuilding

I am writing this post to document my efforts to get internet from an outbuilding on our property and thought that others may benefit from what I learned through trial and error.

I will let you know in advance that my wife has mentioned to me that I may tend to overcomplicate things from time to time. It isn’t that… I just don’t seem to find out-of-the-box-solutions to my projects.

The Setting

Our house is about 15 years old and is wired with cat-6 for internet and phone, and coax for television. The wiring returns to a set of panels in the main utility room with other alarm and electrical panels. There is not good cellular coverage on the property due to geographical location, foliage, and topography.

The house is set up for wifi using an eero 6 mesh system provided by our ISP for just a few dollars per month. This was the most cost effective way to get full coverage with our home layout, even though it made me a little sad to have all the prewired cat-6 sitting idle.

All rooms have finished walls and ceilings, so extending or running additional wire through the house is not easy. The setup yields 143 Mbps down / 26 Mbps up

The Challenge: Extending Internet to the Outbuilding

I want to have wireless internet coverage in an outbuilding so I can surf the internet, mount a security camera, and talk on my phone using wifi. The outbuilding is about 200 feet from the back of the house, downhill, and adjacent to a body of water. A cable run would be about 275 feet from router to endpoint.

Potential Solutions: A Comparative Analysis

I considered trenching and running grounded cat-6a, fiber (because if I am going to dig a trench I am going all the way), internet over powerline, and wifi bridge as solutions.

I have concerns about transient voltages near the water so I am leaning away from the cat6a solution.

Option 1: Internet Over Powerline, rev 1

I thought that the easiest way to solve this would be internet over powerline, so I purchased a TP-Link TL-WPA7617KIT (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09L85MFNY).

I set it up inside the house first, knowing that the conditions are not ideal. I plugged the primary unit into the outlet nearest to the breaker box so the signal would travel the shortest distance to the outbuilding. Because it is below grade the outlets are all GFCI, and the space is surrounded by various electronics, electrical wiring, and HVAC systems.

I ran a speed test and got good results (35Mbps / 27Mbps). I took the client unit to the furthest point inside the house and got similar results. I really like the app that can help configure advanced settings, but the unit works out of the box with no setup beyond the initial pairing of the units by pressing a button on each.

Then I took the client unit to the outbuilding and plugged it in to the outlet nearest the breaker panel, waited for connection… and waited… finally, the connection light came on. It was only momentary, then it turned off. I tried other outlets with no connection at all.

So I had some success, but ultimately the TP-Link does not do what I need in this application. This would still be a solid choice for an application within the house though.

Then I thought that maybe a different brand would have a different outcome?

Option 2: Internet Over Powerline, rev 2

I thought that because I had an almost connection that maybe a different brand would yield better results.

I purchased a Netgear Powerline AV500 (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009WG6K66) and went through the same installation method as with the first unit.

This time the inside speed test had a weaker result (13Mbps / 12Mbps), but it was enough to keep testing. As a point of comparison, this unit came with a CD and instructions to download a desktop application for advanced setup. It was a bit more clumsy to use than the TP-Link, but in the grand scheme of things something I would likely do one time and never touch again.

I took the client unit to the outbuilding and had a very temporary connection from one outlet and no connection from the other outlets. So the outcome was the same as with the TP-Link unit.

Option 3: WiFi Bridge

I purchased two TP-Link 5GHz N300 wireless bridge units: (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00N2RO63U).

Setup was slightly more involved than with the internet over powerline units, but the step by step instructions were very clear and could be easily followed by a beginner.

I took the units to positions near their mounting points and confirmed with the built in tools that they had excellent connectivity, even when not pointed directly at each other. Of course they did, I am using these to send a signal 200 feet and they are designed for 20km, which is more than 300x the distance.

Ok, so it is also futureproof - you know, in case the outbuilding moves to another county.

WiFi Bridges: A Reliable Solution

So I decided to use the bridge to get the signal form the house to the outbuilding. Mounting the units was a little challenging due to the aforementioned topography. By mounting the client to the side of the outbuilding and mounting the access point low on the house, I had line of sight below the tree canopy, so it worked without having to install a pole.

The Hybrid Approach: Combining Technologies

I was still faced with a challenge – similar to the first mile / last mile problem in supply chain, I need to get wire from the router to the bridge and wifi from the client.

Just for proof of concept I used the TP-Link internet over powerline to get power to the access point and tested the speed at the outbuilding at 15Mbps / 15Mbps. That was disappointing; I expected the internet over powerline to be the bottleneck, but in this configuration the throughput is slower than the IOP alone.

But for now it is enough to stream video and support a security camera, and now that I have a functional system, I can make improvements as I go.

Phase II: Making The Final Connection

I completed the installation with a few modifications to the original:

I purchased two Eero 6e units on a Black Friday deal. I installed one in the room near the access point in the house so there is a wired connection from the Eero to the access point. I installed the other Eero unit in the outbuilding to complete the setup. It connects by wire from the access point, and gives the same mesh feel as in the main house.

The outbuilding is not environmentally controlled, so I am interested to see how well the Eero 6e survives in the wild. It will not be exposed to elements, but will see temperature and humidity ranges near its specified limits. If it stops working or has issues I will upgrade to the Eero 7 which is built more robustly to handle environmental fluctuations.

In this final exercise I discovered that I can keep the wireless bridge proprietary transmission mode turned 'on' and still have full throughput.

I am now getting 94Mbps download and 24Mbps upload from the outbuilding connection.

What is your experience with in-home internet solutions?

Any ideas on how to increase the speed?

Have I overcomplicated it?

Please comment below.

Bubble Trouble: Dealing With a Foaming Dishwasher

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 18:37:43 GMT

I have experienced this more than once...

A foamy, bubbly mess in your dishwasher can be quite a surprise. This unexpected overflow can be caused by a few common culprits. Let's dive into the reasons and solutions to get your dishwasher back to its normal, clean routine.

Step 1: Prevent Damage

Stop the dishwasher by opening the door or pressing the stop/cancel button. This will prevent it from creating more sudsy overflow. Don't worry about the inside of the dishwasher right now - it is waterproof.

Grab some towels and dry the floor, making sure to dry along the toekick under the cabinets.

Step 2: Understand Why It Is Overflowing

There are a few reasons this could ha ve happened, and I have experienced them all over the years:

Wrong detergent: Using a detergent designed for hand-washing in the dishwasher. This can be from intentionally using hand detergent as a substitute in a pinch, or from pre-washing dishes with detergent and putting them in the dishwasher with soap remaining on them.
Blocked drain: I have seen this happen in 3 ways:
The dishwasher drains into the garbage disposal and food was left in the disposal which prevents draining.
The filter in the dishwasher needs to be cleaned.
The garbage disposal plug for the dishwasher drain was not removed, blocking the drain line.
Dishwasher pump not working: There is a pump that pushes water out of the dishwasher, and if it does not work the water will remain in the dishwasher.

Step 3: Resolve The Problem

The first problem to resolve is the excess suds:

Empty the dishes from the dishwasher so you can focus on the suds.
Generously sprinkle table salt over the suds to suppress the bubbles.
Put the dishwasher in "cancel" mode and close the door. You will hear the pump running to drain the suds. Run the garbage disposal for a few seconds to make sure the water is draining and then shut it off. Listen for water going down the drain. If water is not draining from the machine, you may need to call for repair service.
If all of that is working, wait for the dishwasher to run through the cancel cycle and then open the door.
If suds remain, sprinkle more salt and repeat until the suds are gone.
Rinse hand-washing detergent from dishes and reload the machine.

Step 4: Prevent it From Happening Again

Remember these tips:

Use a detergent designed for an automatic dishwasher.
If you pre-wash dishes, ensure that they are rinsed completely before loading the dishwasher.
Clear the disposal before running the dishwasher.

Breaking the Cycle of Financial Stress

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:23:08 GMT

Ways To Avoid Being Broke All The Time

As a young adult I was trapped in a cycle of constant financial stress, stretching paychecks to pay for rent, utilities, gas, and food. I was always one car repair, one speeding ticket, one sick day from being in real trouble.

I have always either had a side hustle (or four) going, or been in school while working full time. I have never been afraid of hard work. But as busy as I was trying to make more money, it felt like I was always broke. Today, almost 35% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck.

Over the years of my personal experience and seeing others struggle in the same way, I have come up with some tips for saving money to break the cycle and achieve some financial breathing room:

Create a Realistic Budget

This is simple but not easy, and you can probably do it on a piece of scrap paper in about 15-30 minutes. It is not easy because it is a reality check on where your money really goes. But it is necessary to have a look so you can make changes that stick.

First, figure out what you spend money on each month and list by categories.

Look through your last 3 months of bank statements to find out how much you actually spent on these items, not how much you want to spend or think you spend. Here are some examples of categories, and each of these has an opportunity to save money:

Rent / Mortgage

Electricity

Natural Gas

Internet / Cable / TV

Cell Phone

Subscriptions – music, TV, cloud storage, etc

Groceries

Restaurants

Health & Beauty – haircuts, medication, supplements

Gym Membership

Car Payment

Fuel

Car Insurance

Miscellaneous

Savings

Second, note your monthly income.

There is a trick to this if you are paid weekly or biweekly because there are not exactly 4 weeks in a month. You can divide your last 13 weeks of pay by 3 to get your monthly income, or multiply one week by 52 (for an annual amount) and divide the answer by 12 to get a monthly rate.

Third, subtract the expenses from income to get your surplus or deficit. If you have a surplus, that amount should be going into savings for planned or unplanned expenses like car repairs or trips. If you have a deficit, read on for proven tips on how to save money.

Saving Money In Each Budget Category

Rent / Mortgage:

You may not be able to change the total expense amount in the short term, but you can consider moving to a less expensive place or getting a roommate to reduce your individual expense.

Electricity and Natural Gas utilities:

Keep lights and fans off when you are not in the room.

Unplug “vampire” electrical users when not in use such as chargers, anything with a clock display, and anything that uses a remote control. Individually these may not consume much, but they add up.

Your washer and dryer are huge electrical users – if you live where electricity rates vary, use these during peak hours.

Hang clothes to dry instead of using the appliance.

Heat and air conditioning are very high users of electricity and/or natural gas. Adjust heat down and air conditioning up, and use ceiling fans to move air. I have seen people who heat their homes to a comfort level so they can wear shorts in the winter. There is nothing wrong with wearing socks and a sweatshirt in the winter.

** Pro Tip: run ceiling fans to push air down in the summer. This causes the air to blow directly on you and feels cooler. Reverse the direction to pull air up in the winter; this pushes warm air off the ceiling, down the walls, and along the floor.

Internet / Cable / TV:

Internet has become indispensable over the past several years. When pricing out your plan, consider what you actually need though. I can work from home, video conference, stream movies, and play online video games on a very inexpensive connection. The super mega streaming plan is overkill for home use.

As far as TV and entertainment go, we have a couple of streaming services but no traditional “cable” service. We just don’t watch that much TV. I heard of a neat hack recently though, where people will rotate through streaming services a couple months at a time instead of having all of them at once. Good idea!

Subscriptions – music, cloud storage, etc:

These are usually relatively inexpensive but really add up if you are not constantly monitoring them. I recently talked with somebody that was spending $75 per month on Amazon Prime, LinkedIn, and iTunes music. That is really getting up there!

Cell Phone:

There are a lot of great plans that are inexpensive. Look at alternative carriers to the big 3, and you will find good phone selection, service, and low cost.

Groceries:

This is a big expense, and prices seem to keep going up. Be frugal. In many cases store brand is less expensive for the same quality as big name brands. If you refuse to buy store brand stuff because you don’t like it, you aren’t hungry enough yet. Shop at discount stores. If you are broke and still shopping at Whole Foods, let me introduce you to my friend Aldi.

Restaurants:

If you are on a tight budget, don’t do it. You can shop and cook for much less, and you don’t need to leave a tip.

If you do go out, take note that the high margin items in a restaurant are drinks (especially alcohol) and dessert. Choose wisely.

My wife and I went out for a couple of salads at a well known bread shop recently and the total was $35. No drinks, no extras, just salad with chicken. We could have made the same thing at home for under $10.

Health & Beauty – haircuts, medication, supplements:

Some of these items are necessary, some are discretionary. In any case, shop around for better prices and alternatives.

Gym Membership:

There are a wide variety of options here. A personal trainer in a small gym may be $700 or more per month. A membership at a large chain is as little as $10 per month. Be diligent and honest with yourself about wants versus needs, and keep in mind that physical and mental health are very important.

Car Payment:

After you have a car payment it doesn’t usually change. Take note of how difficult it is to juggle a car payment with everything else and when the opportunity presents itself to trade it or sell it, choose your next one carefully.

Fuel:

Cars are much more fuel efficient than they used to be, but your driving habits can still impact your fuel economy. First, consider if you really need to drive. Create a route to run multiple errands in one trip instead of going home and back out. Idling for long periods of time, leaving the vehicle running while in a store, quick acceleration, high speeds, and even quick stops are wasteful. Press the pedals gently and you will see an improvement.

Car Insurance:

Shop around like you do with streaming services, cable, and satellite TV. These costs creep up over time and you need to put in the effort to make sure you are not overspending. Also, with your more economical driving habits, be safe. An accident can cause your rates to increase even if it is not your fault.

Miscellaneous:

This is a catch-all for many things. Buying a birthday gift. Going to the doctor for a couple stitches. I guess here is a good place to mention that if you are broke you should not be spending money on alcohol or drugs. Just sayin’.

Savings:

Some say that you should target setting aside 20% from each paycheck for savings and retirement. If money is tight this is not practical advice, but at the same time if you don’t budget for some amount it will not happen at all. Many employers have an option to withhold retirement savings so you don’t need to really think about it. Even if you are struggling, at minimum put enough in your 401(k) for your employer to match – that is free money! Put a little something in a savings account too, for incidental expenses that will eventually come up.

**Pro Tip: You can eat for under $10 per day if you work hard at it. For example, we have what the kids and I call “concoction.”

1 can chicken, about $3

1 bag Knorr rice sides, about $1.50

1 can Rotel, about $1

Prepare, mix, and eat. This is good for two meals and costs under $6. That is $3 per meal.

Break The Cycle

Breaking the cycle of paycheck-to-paycheck living requires discipline, priorities, patience, and a willingness to make changes. By creating a realistic budget, trimming expenses, and implementing smart financial habits, you can take control of your finances and build a brighter future. Remember, small steps can lead to significant results. Start today, and watch your financial situation improve.

New Car? Think Again: Why Used Might Be the Better Choice

Sun, 10 Nov 2024 19:27:00 GMT

In The Market For a Vehicle

I recently found myself in the market for a new vehicle after an unfortunate highway encounter with an elk. While I've owned over 40 cars, I've learned a lot about the best ways to approach car buying. In this post, I'll share my insights on why buying used can be a smart financial decision and how to navigate the car-buying process.

The Benefits of Buying Used

One of the biggest advantages of buying used is that you can avoid the initial depreciation hit. By purchasing a 1- to 3-year-old off-lease vehicle, you're essentially buying a vehicle after somebody else has paid for a large part of the depreciation. This can save you thousands of dollars.

Doing Your Research

Before you even step foot in a dealership, it's crucial to do your research on your budget, the vehicle, and the dealership.

Define Your Needs:

Cars don’t last forever, but at least consider your lifestyle and plans for the next 3-5 years. A small sedan or 2-seat pickup truck might be perfect now, but what about future need for an infant car seat or a growing family with sports gear? Will you be moving to a place that requires a different type of vehicle, like all wheel drive? Do you really need 400 horsepower and the highest trim package?

Set a Budget:

Determine how much you can afford to spend considering the total cost of ownership. This includes monthly payments, insurance, sales tax, personal property tax in some states, and potential maintenance costs including washing it.

**Pro tip – silver and light grey cars don’t show dirt as much as other colors so don’t need to be washed as often to look good. But don’t let it go too long -- a clean, shiny car increases safety because it is more visible to other drivers.

Even with all of the vehicles I have owned, I still get surprised sometimes. I once bought a used 2011 Ford Focus SE. I really liked everything about that car – reliable, good fuel economy, inexpensive to insure… but when it was time to put tires on it, realized that it specified a high performance tire with a high speed rating that was more expensive than a “normal” tire. I had never thought about high performance tires on a Focus or to look at the cost of replacing them.

Research Models:

Use online resources like Edmunds, Kelley Blue Book, and Consumer Reports to compare features, reliability ratings, and pricing. Autotrader is a great site to review options, availability, and prices.

The Art of Negotiation

Know Your Worth:

Be confident in your negotiations. Research fair market prices for the vehicle you want. You are smart, informed, and demand respect from others. If you don't think you can do it alone, ask somebody with experience to go with you.

The Trade-In Dilemma:

If you're trading in a vehicle, negotiate its value separately from the new car purchase. In some states there is a tax advantage when you trade in your current vehicle versus selling it on your own in a separate transaction. On the other hand, if you can sell it yourself you may get more money for it.

Resist the Upsells:

While additional features can be tempting, be mindful of their impact on the overall cost. You will be asked if you want options added to the vehicle – extended warranty, tire warranty, windshield protection, GAP insurance, dent removal coverage, paint chip protection, interior protection, accessories such as mudflaps, heavy duty floormats, and others.

My experience with upsells: Read the contracts! Every one of these warranties (note that they are not insurance policies) have a written contract stating the coverage and the hoops that you have to jump through to use them. Take your time to review them and understand them. In my experience, the people selling them do not understand them and they do not have to live with your decision to purchase.

I have purchased a Certified Pre-Owned (CPO) warranty before, and it was a good value to me in comfort. Looking back though, I never had any repairs done under the warranty so I gambled and lost that time. I would do it again in certain conditions though. On my current vehicle I refused the CPO warranty because the cost was higher than any reasonably foreseeable warranty claim that I would make.

Paintless Dent Removal:

I have had this on very expensive vehicles because the cost was low, like $400 for 6 years or something. On an older car with a few bruises I would not bother with it. I recently had 3 large dents repaired and paid $300 out of pocket.

Tire Warranty:

I usually get this if the cost is worth it. I use 10% of the value of the tires as an approximation of what I will pay. A $250 tire with $20 warranty is worth it to me. An $80 tire with a $20 warranty is not.

Interior Protection Warranty:

I don't see a value in the interior protection warranty. Auto manufacturers are very diligent in selecting materials that do not stain, tear, or fade. If you have pets or children, you can purchase seat covers separately and save a lot of money.

I do, however, recommend rubberized floormats if you are going to be near a lot of sand or mud. My wife and I like to explore off the beaten path and hike in CO and UT, so we track mud into the vehicle. These mats are well worth it to protect the carpet and make cleanup easier.

Exterior Protection:

There are plastic films and ceramic treatments that can protect your vehicle from paint chips. As a rule of thumb, I estimate $500 as the cost to paint an entire door, hood, or bumper. If the vehicle is in pristine condition I may consider a plastic film, but I also do not like the way that they look. I personally prefer no plastic film and just have chips repainted periodically.

Glass Protection:

Your car insurance may cover glass repair with a deductible. My car insurance covers small glass repairs at no charge and will replace the entire windshield for a $500 deductible without impacting my premium. I have purchased glass protection warranty before but would not do it again because the cost is equivalent to 6 windshields through my insurance company. Check the details of your car insurance - their coverage may be better than one of these warranty packages and you are already paying for it!

My suggestion for these is that if you find them to be a good value for you, pay cash for them. They do not intrinsically increase the value of the vehicle, but they will increase the size of the loan. Also, they are not as valuable if you are paying interest on them by rolling the cost into the cost of the vehicle. I suggest taking the money you would spend on these and applying it to your down payment instead. As mentioned in the section about the term, you don’t want to ever be "underwater," which is a position where you can not sell the vehicle to pay off the balance of the loan.

There are many online sites that can guide you through the negotiation process and pitfalls. I encourage you to review those and take somebody experienced with you if you feel uncertain. My advice here is threefold: First, do not make an emotional decision; this is a transaction and nothing more. Second, do not be afraid to walk away. I can assure you that they will not stop making cars that you like and you can buy a different one. Third, and most importantly, always keep in mind that you have value. You set the pace of the negotiation. Do not allow the dealer to fast talk you, disrespect you, gaslight you, or bully you. If you are not comfortable, leave the dealership and think about it.

Financing Your Vehicle

Cash is King: If possible, pay cash to avoid interest charges.

Low-Interest Loans: If you need financing, aim for a low-interest rate. If you don't have the cash or want to keep your cash in a rainy day fund that earns interest, it may make sense to finance. Your credit score will indicate the interest rate that you can get. Dealerships can arrange financing, but they also get paid by banks to do it, which means that you are paying more than minimum necessary. I suggest working with your bank to pre-approve a loan and going into the negotiation with that information. If the dealer can do better that is fine, but if not you know where you stand and can negotiate with confidence.

Lease vs. Buy: Consider the pros and cons of leasing and buying. Leases offer lower monthly payments but no ownership at the end of the term. I have never leased a vehicle because it has never made sense for my lifestyle, but I know many people who have had good experiences doing it.

Conclusion

Buying a car can be a complex process, but by following these tips, you can make informed decisions and save money. Remember, the key is to take your time, do your research, and negotiate wisely.

Additional Tips:

Pre-Purchase Inspection: Have a trusted mechanic inspect the vehicle before you buy it.

Read the Fine Print: Carefully review all contracts and financing agreements.

Stay Calm and Patient: Don't rush into a decision.

By following these guidelines, you can find the perfect vehicle that fits your budget and lifestyle.

Comment below if you are curious about more detail or think I missed anything!

Driving Courtesy

Sat, 19 Oct 2024 19:13:18 GMT

The Decline Of Courtesy On The Road

It seems like courtesy on the roadways is not top of mind like it used to be.

I have been driving for a long time. I have been through driver’s education as a teenager to learn how to drive a car, then again as an adult when I got my CDL to drive tractor-trailers. I have driven in 45 states and although I do not operate commercial vehicles, I still enjoy a good road trip with my wife and dogs.

I remember being taught both by my parents and by the driver’s education instructors that courtesy on the road makes traffic flow better and safer, and I have noticed that courtesy has become less prevalent over time. These are a few of the things that I have observed recently:

Slow Driving In The Left Lane

The right lanes are for slower traffic, and the left lanes are for faster traffic. Vehicles should stay as far right as possible and only move left when passing, and then move back to the right. This system keeps traffic flowing smoothly and safely. When a car is going slow in the left lane, it causes cars to pass on its right. This is dangerous because faster vehicles may not be expecting a slow vehicle in the fast lane and could collide or hit the brakes and surprise drivers behind them. Too many times when I see this I look over (as I pass on the right) and see the person distracted by looking at their phone in hand instead of focusing on courteous driving.

Improper Use Of High-Beam Headlights

This is dangerous because it can be blinding to oncoming traffic, even during the day. I have recently started to see this behavior across the country. I often see people driving very slowly (well below the speed limit) with high-beams on, and immediately think that person should exit the highway and take a break. I also see people who are driving faster than the speed limit with their brights on. It was always the norm to “flash to pass” by flicking brights on briefly as a reminder to the slower vehicle in front to move to the right and allow the faster vehicle to pass. Some vehicles have aftermarket headlights that are not designed for the vehicle, and they are far too bright white and the reflectors are not aimed correctly. I am a big believer in OEM safety equipment because I believe that the engineers who designed the vehicle are better at it than typical vehicle owner.

Aggressive Driving

I am classifying driving aggressively as tailgating, passing closely, and making abrupt movements. I see this frequently in larger cities, and less often in more rural areas, but it happens everywhere to some degree. I have seen drivers so frustrated and angry that they have almost caused an accident with their poor decisions. I have seen them tailgate, swerve quickly to pass, drive extremely close to the slower vehicle, and then swerve to cut them off when getting in front. It doesn’t make sense to me that people will save a couple seconds by passing, yet risk safety, time, and headache by creating an opportunity for an accident at highway speeds.

The Consequences Of Inconsiderate Driving

Consequences of inconsiderate driving can be far reaching. If you take an empathetic position, consider that other people can be startled or frightened by your behavior, which may impact their daily lives; accidents that you cause may impact many other drivers as they are either involved or delayed. If you are selfish or unaware, consider then your own delays, insurance implications, and guilt which you will carry if your actions result in a crash.

A Call For Courtesy On The Road

In summary, remember to pay attention to your surroundings while driving and treat other drivers with respect. Slower traffic to the right, passing on the left, only using bright headlights when no other cars are around, and most of all stay focused on driving safely.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 17:44:07 GMT

I can’t count how many times in my life I have been asked what I want to do when I grow up. The older I get the more I think I know the answer, but I am still not sure. I have also asked versions of the question to other people in job interviews, reviews, and in social conversation. It is the old “where do you see yourself in five years” question on the interview questionnaire.

I think it is unfair pressure to ask a 17-year-old high school student to select a profession that they will pursue, then get the required training, get a job that they love, and beaver away until retirement.

I grew up wanting to be a math teacher. When I was in secondary school I had tutored several students in math and realized that there seemed to be two inflection points where people became lost or disinterested in math. One is around 3 ^rd grade in the US, where we memorize multiplication tables. The other is around 7 ^th grade, where algebraic concepts are introduced. I decided that I wanted to be a 7 ^th grade math teacher to help students over the hurdle of algebra and make math enjoyable and fun.

When I told my parents what I wanted to do, they said that it was noble and I was free to pursue it, but they were not paying for a degree to teach 7 ^th grade math. They did, however, say that they would pay for an engineering degree because the salary would be higher.

So I checked my bank balance and quickly decided to pursue an engineering degree.

I have since realized, through the experience of my journey and observing the journeys of others, that it is important to find a career that is fulfilling. It also needs to pay the bills. If it does not pay the bills, it is a fulfilling hobby, and that is great to have – in fact I have several. I have had many conversations with people who want to pursue video gaming, skateboarding, or music as a career. Some people are interested in status, some in titles, and others enjoy working in the background. Do what you think you will like, and change if you need to.

If you want to do that, my advice is to develop a plan to turn your hobby into a career, and at the same time find work that will support your lifestyle. MMA fighters, actors, X-gamers, and other celebrities started with a day job and a lot of determination and dedication to be the best.

Some people aren’t cut out for a formal university education. It is okay if that isn’t for you, but some professional fields require it. There are plenty of trades and entrepreneurial opportunities that pay well and allow for you to live the lifestyle you want. The key here is to develop a set of skills that protect you in the future by allowing you to add value to an employer, and eventually open your own business if you want to.

There are many ways to develop your path. Some start finding specialties and focused interests early in life through Montessori or other programs. Some learn by trial-and-error. Some find the University experience to be the best fit for them.

I have been able to get the fulfillment of teaching and learning in the workplace, and I am able to teach using My Friend’s Dad as a method to use my experience to help others.

Always be intentional and purposeful, even in what you may perceive to be a job that you are overqualified for or an entry level role. Be open to learning. Jobs may come and go, but you take your knowledge and experience with you. If you do not learn, you will be disadvantaged in the workplace over time. People who add value win in the long run.

There is an overload of information and sometimes overwhelming to sift through all of it. Seek a mentor, either formally or informally. It is okay to ask for advice and admit that it is hard to discern the right path.

What does punctuality have to do with accountability?

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 17:40:24 GMT

If you are 15 minutes early you are on time, if you are on time you’re late (- Vince Lombardi); a story about accountability.

I am a punctual person. It’s a trait that’s served me well in both my personal and professional life. But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, my journey to punctuality began with a rather harsh lesson from my dad and his beloved car.

When I was 17, I had a driver’s license but did not have a car, so on weekends I would borrow my dad’s car to hang out with my friends. He set some clever rules around borrowing the car: it had to be returned with a full tank of fuel, washed, and on time. He would use the fuel I put in to drive his clean car to work all week, and then I would refill it every weekend for the next week. It worked for both of us.

One weekend in October, I wanted to use dad’s car, so I asked as usual. I am not sure why, but dad told me that if I did not return by 10pm I would never be allowed to use his car again. I remember thinking that was strange because I didn’t think I had been late before, so I agreed and he handed me the keys.

It was raining, and the cold air seeped into the car as I drove. I followed my normal routine – I went to the carwash and the sweet scent of soap filled the air as I scrubbed the car clean. Then, I headed off to my friend’s house which was a bit of a drive in a rural area and hung out there with a few friends.

Panic surged through me as I glanced at my watch and saw the time creeping toward 9:35. A cold dread washed over me as I realized I was going to be late. I said goodbye and sped off, the rain blurring my vision. The windshield wipers slapped rhythmically against the glass as I raced to get home. I drove as quickly as I could on the dark, wet roads, my heart pounding in my chest. I thought I saw an animal in the road so I stabbed the brakes and the rear wheels locked and slid toward the ditch. I needed to focus on pushing my speed while leaving reaction time so I would not have to hit the brakes hard again. The beam of my headlights cut through the fog, and I strained to see if deer were lurking in the shadows. I debated whether to skip the fuel stop and head straight home, and decided that it would be better to get return late with a full tank of fuel than return on time without filling the fuel tank. I could talk my way out of being late, and started building my argument while driving.

I pulled into the driveway, the rain drumming on the roof. I rushed inside, handed dad the keys, and kept moving as if everything was normal. He said “you are late.” I agreed and tried to excuse it by pointing to the weather and wanting to be safe. He said that he was glad I was safe, pointed out that I had agreed to the terms, and then said that I could not use his car again. I pretended not to remember the earlier conversation and said “again this weekend?” He said “no, you can never drive it again.” I was stunned.

That jolt of accountability has stuck with me for the rest of my life. To this day when I have a time commitment I make sure to plan in advance so I will be 15 minutes early.

That night, I learned the true meaning of accountability. It was a tough lesson, but it's one that has served me well. Punctuality is more than just being on time; it's about respecting others' time and commitments. And for that, I'll always be grateful to my dad and his lesson in accountability.

Dad gave that car to me the following year, but it needed a new engine – and that is another story for another time. As for driving dad’s car, it was 15 years before I drove a car that he owned. I had learned my lesson by then.

I hope you have enjoyed the story; please share your experiences about teaching and learning accountability in the comments below. Bye for now.